I was thinking about this today. I tweeted about hugging your loved ones. It only takes a second and has great emotional benefits. It is a small and simple investment. However, real long term investment does take some time. It takes thinking about what those in your life need, want, feel, think, etc. You get it. It involves investing your time and energy. It involves face-to-face time as well as electronic time with others you care about. My advice, "Do not skimp on your relationships. Do what it takes to nurture them." Even though it feels like the world is going a little crazy right now and people have lost their jobs and homes and retirement, we still have each other. No body can take that away from us!
You may have heard about attachment theory and attachment styles. You may not have. However, they are something we talk a lot about in psychology today as attachment theory has become very integrated in our understanding of relationships and family dynamics. Understanding attachment helps us understand what motivates humans, helps them feel safe, and allows them to grow and succeed.
Literature and research describe several types of styles in relationships. These styles or categories were initially inferred from observational research on children. Later adults were interviewed as well to find out that people develop or have certain attachment or relationship mindsets they bring into relationships. These attachment mindsets have certain thoughts, behaviors, and feelings connected to them and they affect the way one relates in very close intimate relationships. The way we talk about these styles may make them seem rigid and unalterable. But personally, I like to think of these categories as somewhat flexibly. What I mean by this is one can change his or her style depending upon different internal and external variables and experiences in relationships.
Evelyn Schmechtig-Cochran, LMFT #33292
Psychotherapist and Relationship Specialist