Sometimes in relationships people get stuck in a pattern of distress where one person pursues for connection in a demanding style and the partner feels overwhelmed and criticized and perhaps shuts down or maybe gets defensive. Ever wonder what is going on for the more withdrawing partner? If we get below the surface, research shows that the more quiet partner is as distressed as the more vocal partner. They often say things like, "I feel like I can't get it right or I am numb or I don't want to make it worse between us." They often report feeling rejected, inadequate, fearful of failure, overwhelmed, numb, frozen, afraid, not wanted, judged or shamed. To find out more about what it is to have a more withdrawing style listen to this podcast called "The Couch."
Evelyn Schmechtig-Cochran, LMFT #33292
Psychotherapist and Relationship Specialist