Step 1: Assessment: Delineate conflict issues. Assess how these issues express core conflicts in the areas of separateness/ connectedness and dependence/ independence. Step 2: Identify the negative interaction pattern or cycle.
Step 3: Dive more deeply into and feel and share the emotions underlying and fueling each partners position in the cycle.
Step 4: Develop an understanding and experience of the problem (reframe) in terms of the cycle, the underlying emotions driving the cycle and the attachment needs which are normal and longing to be meant.
Stage 2 Bonding
Step 5: Delve into and identify disowned needs and aspects of self that have been hidden for each partner.
Step 6: Promote acceptance of these tender and hidden parts, aspects of self and new ways of relating.
Step 7: Facilitate the expression of needs and wants, and restructure the interaction to create true emotional engagement.
Stage 3 Consolidation of Change
Step 8: Facilitate the emergence of new solutions to old problematic relationship issues.
Step 9: Consolidate new positions and cycles of emotional closeness and attachment.
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