In light of the recent news item around the video of Ray Rice assaulting his wife, I wanted to post a few resources for people seeking help. The first is an online domestic violence assessment for both genders. If you are wondering about your relationship, click here. If you are a women struggling with an abusive partner, the following is a link to a workbook to help you sort out your situation. If you live in the Newark, Fremont, Union City Area, there is a great local resource for you if you are experiencing interpersonal partner violence. It is called SAVE. If you need help, please call them.
I decided to write this blog entry because when I was looking at my web site statistics one of the google search phases that pointed to my site was, “afraid of my partner’s anger.” I was alarmed and thought, “Oh no. I hope that person is getting the right help for his or her situation.”
It is impossible to know what the situation is just from a search engine phase. Could it be that the person's partner has an untreated mental illness like irritable depression, bipolar mania, OCD, or even PTSD? For different reasons, all of these can sometimes have as part of the symptom profile anger. On the other hand, is the person living with a batterer? Is there chronic illness or job loss stress? I could go on and on about the possibilities.
The bottom line is that no one should have to feel afraid of his or her partner. The person we love should make us feel safe and secure and visa versa. That is usually why most people get together. The person they love makes them feel good. When a situation has gotten to the point of feeling fear of a loved one it is time to take calm, focused, and planned action. Fear is a message from the body that things could be dangerous. It is time to stand up to the anger and to reach out and get help.
Online Domestic Violence Assessment
I found this resource for women in abusive relationships.
Evelyn Schmechtig-Cochran, LMFT #33292
Psychotherapist and Relationship Specialist