I often get people questioning whether or not it is okay to need their spouse or partner. I hear, "Doesn't that make me needy? Aren't suppose to be able to handle this by myself?" I think people ask this because we have been trained in our culture that independence is the epitome of maturity. Children are dependent. Adults should be independent. Sadly as a result, this need for others as a close reference points has been generally dismissed and even ignored as an extremely important aspect of emotional and physical health. It is important and we do have proof! Needing and being needed are two very human qualities. Love and being loved is wired into our physiology.
Evelyn Schmechtig-Cochran, LMFT #33292
Psychotherapist and Relationship Specialist