Since April I have been doing a small class for therapists once a month introducing them to Emotionally Focused Therapy or EFT. I do not really consider myself a teacher but felt I wanted to be a part of spreading the good news about EFT. I love EFT and helping couples come together using it. I see couples go from distress and disconnection to peace and connection with each other. It is a joy to see this healing take place and I really wanted to show other therapists how to do this. It has been fun teaching others this therapy. So, what exactly is Emotionally Focused Therapy?
Why is marriage so stressful at times? And how can we prevent a marriage from going bad or rescue one that already has? After 40 years of research, John Gottman, Ph.D. has answered these questions. Here is what he says:
I often get people questioning whether or not it is okay to need their spouse or partner. I hear, "Doesn't that make me needy? Aren't suppose to be able to handle this by myself?" I think people ask this because we have been trained in our culture that independence is the epitome of maturity. Children are dependent. Adults should be independent. Sadly as a result, this need for others as a close reference points has been generally dismissed and even ignored as an extremely important aspect of emotional and physical health. It is important and we do have proof! Needing and being needed are two very human qualities. Love and being loved is wired into our physiology.
Evelyn Schmechtig Cochran