Dr. Susan Johnson being interviewed about Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples in The Psychotherapy Networker.
What other therapist say about Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples and why they are committed to it,
"EFT is the couples therapy with the most empirical evidence that it works -- twice as effective as skills-based approaches, with positive outcomes that have been shown to be far more long lasting.
Process-wise, EFT is based on the observation (not original to EFT) that couples mostly have the same argument(s) over and over. They think that they are arguing about (or, sometimes, ducking arguments about) whose parents to see for Thanksgiving or who forgot to pick the kids up from school, but actually are hitting each other's buttons in the same ways, over and over, with each attempt to resolve (or duck) the conflict only making it worse.
EFT therapists assist the couple to get underneath the reactions to the fight, to uncover the empathy & soothing beneath. We teach the couple to repair ruptures so that they can soothe, connect and collaborate more readily, and more deeply. There's a ton of research- it's the best thing since chocolate."
Jay M. Seiff-Haron, Psy.D.
Couples, Coparenting, Child Trauma, Interracial/Interfaith Families
California License PSY23443
4220 California Street #201, San Francisco, CA 94118
5665 College Ave. #240A, Oakland, CA 94618
Dealing with Affairs
Probably the most painful thing one can experience in a marriage or committed relationship, after death or divorce, is discovering your partner is having an affair. Upon discovery, one's mind starts spinning and one's body goes into high alert. Warning bells go off and panic and anxiety take over. Reality has changed and what once was a safe and secure relationship is unstable and dangerous. Questions like, "Who am I? Who is my partner? What has our life together really been about?" crash down on the mind like a spring waterfall full of furry.
This entire experience is traumatic, often causing PTSD-like symptoms in the betrayed person. Obsessive thinking and obsessive behaviors like cell phone checking take over. Loss of sleep and appetite are not uncommon. Emotions may become mercurial, flipping from grief and sadness to rage and disgust. Self-blame can creep in. This is all normal because this is a crisis.
Evelyn Schmechtig Cochran