Love and Attachment From Cradle to Beyond the Grave
It is amazing to me how a sense of secure attachment can extend beyond the grave. I was lucky enough to have a mother who loved me when she was alive so much so that I feel it even in her absence. My goal for clients, and hope as a therapist, is to promote this type of feeling and attachment.
My reflection, "Listening to our handyman speak Portuguese to one of his workers or maybe Spanish with a Portuguese accent, sounds like music to my ears. It must be reminding me of the sounds and rhythmes of my mother's voice and of her lullabies when I was a baby. Portuguese was her first language and she had only been here a few years before I was born. It is strange the sense of peace I feel listening from a distance. I think, 'Don't stop talking.' I feel so soothed and calmed."
I think I must have had some kind of a pre-verbal memory as I was not close enough to hear the distinction of the words but only the muffled sing song melody of the voice. I guess like an infant might hear. I was then flooded with a very calm and peaceful feeling and a deep sense of knowing that I was loved not only by her but by God. It was very profound and spiritual, an experience I wish all could have.
My mother's birthday is the 23rd. She always seems to send me a message from beyond that she still cares for me and loves me, usually around or on her birthday. I feel blessed and so wanted to share.
Just this past weekend I attended a training conference on using emotionally focused therapy with families. It was awesome. At the conference, they showed this YouTube video. It looks at families going through the teens plus years. Very moving. More on Emotionally Focused Family Therapy later. For now I will say it is a great model based on healing the attachment and care giving systems in families.
Content: Virginia Nielsen MA LPC NCC; Ben Taussig MA LPC NCC; Vanessa Wray Williams MA LPC NCC
Video: Steve Nielsen, Metropolitan MultiMedia
Music: Brandi Carlisle, "Pride and Joy" (Give Up the Ghost, 2009)
Evelyn Schmechtig -Cochran