1. Stress is increasing
2. Complexity is increasing
3. Isolation is increasing
What can we do?
Someone sent to me this by email on Stress Management . . .
I would add ask a friend to help you carry the glass of water don't go it alone as Ecclesiastes says, "Two are better than one because they have good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help. Again, if two lie together, they keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone? And although one might prevail against another, two will withstand one. A threefold cord is not quickly broken."
Yahoo posted a nice summary of the research on relationship enhancers: The 10 Ways to Improve your Relationship.
1. Solidify your friendship.
2. Appreciate each other.
3. Concentrate on the present to ensure a future.
4. Don't Distort.
5. Share power.
6. Find common goals.
7. Understand anger.
8. Break negative cycles.
9. Focus on what's fixable.
10. Accept the unsolvable.
As the title of this suggests, most of this is based on John Gottman's research. Any of his books on relationships will give you detailed information on how keep on enhancing your relationship. It is good stuff. Common sense but important to be reminded of as we live our lives in this very busy complicated world. We need our partners now more than ever. But for various reasons, creating and maintaining a safe and secure attachment can get blocked. Use these principles to open up the flow between you and your lover.
Depression is a serious problem affecting many people. Having a supportive and loving spouse, in my opinion can help in recovery. I want to say I think depression is complex and probably caused by many factors. Relationship quality perhaps being one possible factor affecting the sufferer. NPR notes some research around this. Something to reflect upon.
Jim Coan, Ph.D. is doing research that proves having good, positive, and loving relationships help us manage stress better. We are social creates who need comfort and connection. See this Youtube link for more on this. Evidence that working on relationships is really worth it! More details on this research from webMD.
Evelyn Schmechtig -Cochran