Compassion is so important to human relationships. Without it we falter, turn inward, and are utterly alone. As a therapist, and in both individual therapy and couples counseling, I love helping people get in touch with self-compassion and relationship empathy. Empathy and compassion are such powerful sources of healing. "Here is how compassion affects your brain. Soothing words and touch give you something calming to focus on, which, in turn, causes negative and fear-producing thoughts to recede into the background. In the moment of distress, this alone is a great achievement. However, compassion takes it a step further. It strengthens your brain in ways that decreases fear, increases the ability to think clearly, and grows the capacity to view the universe as benevolent." ~ Mary and Rick Nurriestearns
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The most basic connection response is "Keeping Company:" the art of being a tenderhearted witness who listens attentively and compassionately to your own or someone else's feelings without saying how to feel or what to do. Keeping company with someone means being fully heart-present to them in ways that encourage them to explore, resolve and learn from their inner reactions. (Eugene Gendlin, the originator of an extremely important discernment development tool called Focusing, coined the term "keeping company.") ~David Gruder, Ph.D, The New I.Q. I highly recommend this movie as a great way to understand the inner working of our hearts and minds. They take a complex subject and animate it a way all can understand. There is so much in this movie I plan on seeing it again, which is something I don't often do.
In the United States, at least 9 percent of school-aged children have been diagnosed with ADHD, and are taking pharmaceutical medications. In France, the percentage of kids diagnosed and medicated for ADHD is less than .5 percent. How has the epidemic of ADHD—firmly established in the U.S.—almost completely passed over children in France? Click to read more.
Love and Attachment From Cradle to Beyond the Grave It is amazing to me how a sense of secure attachment can extend beyond the grave. I was lucky enough to have a mother who loved me when she was alive so much so that I feel it even in her absence. My goal for clients, and hope as a therapist, is to promote this type of feeling and attachment.
My reflection, "Listening to our handyman speak Portuguese to one of his workers or maybe Spanish with a Portuguese accent, sounds like music to my ears. It must be reminding me of the sounds and rhythmes of my mother's voice and of her lullabies when I was a baby. Portuguese was her first language and she had only been here a few years before I was born. It is strange the sense of peace I feel listening from a distance. I think, 'Don't stop talking.' I feel so soothed and calmed." I think I must have had some kind of a pre-verbal memory as I was not close enough to hear the distinction of the words but only the muffled sing song melody of the voice. I guess like an infant might hear. I was then flooded with a very calm and peaceful feeling and a deep sense of knowing that I was loved not only by her but by God. It was very profound and spiritual, an experience I wish all could have. My mother's birthday is the 23rd. She always seems to send me a message from beyond that she still cares for me and loves me, usually around or on her birthday. I feel blessed and so wanted to share. |
Evelyn Schmechtig CochranCategories
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